Musings from the Soapbox

Jul 20

panic/anxiety attack →

hydratic:

pushed-too-far:

chris-sid:

jaspinder:

  • breath in for 4 seconds
  • hold your breath for 7 seconds
  • exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

Jul 18

iridessence:

getting real tired of the word “equality”

Jul 16

gracefulatfalling:

I love the skin I am in.

Jul 14

quote

[T]he auditing and ranking of survivors of sexual violence and/or the auditing and ranking of various acts of sexual violence itself IS RAPE APOLOGIA. The intent of the person engaging in it is irrelevant: Auditing and ranking survivors and acts of sexual violence functions to suggest that some acts of sexual violence are tolerable, and, further, that if a survivor of the “not as bad” sort of sexual violence has lasting psychic injury from that trauma, they are “overreacting.” Accusing survivors of abuse of being attention-seeking, melodramatic, lying is a centerpiece of silencing victims.

[…]

For many survivors of sexual abuse, lasting trauma is defined not by the actual acts, not by their quality or quantity, but by the support they receive following the abuse. Dawkins notes that, as soon as he got away from his abuser, “I ran to tell my friends, many of whom had had the same experience with him.” He may not recognize that as a crucial point in his not suffering lasting harm, but the fact that he immediately found support among peers who validated his experience, who neither shamed him nor called him a liar, and the fact that, years later, they would still speak to one another about the abuse after the abuser died, is an invaluable resource to a survivor, which many of us do not have.

To the contrary, many survivors of sexual abuse are silenced and neglected and shamed by the very people who are meant to support and protect us.

The profound feelings of unsafety engendered by being failed in this way after surviving sexual violence is, for a number of survivors, equally or even more traumatic than the abuse itself.

[…]

Sexual violence does not exist as a series of unrelated abuses that act in competition with one another for attention and concern, but as a spectrum of abuse on which exists both women being creeped on in elevators by strangers and rapes so brutal their victims do not survive.

The implication that there are survivors of sexual violence who have no reason or right to “complain” as long as there are survivors who have experienced something “worse” somewhere in the world not only elides that post-abuse support profoundly affects trauma prognoses, but also creates a justification for ignoring all but only the “worst” manifestations of sexual violence, which necessarily means neglecting survivors in a way that makes them vulnerable to further trauma.

"Rape ranking" is not a neutral position: It is active rape apologia that harms survivors and abets predators.

— Melissa McEwan, “Dawkins Defends Himself with More Rape Apologia

The whole piece is worth a read, but excerpted here to highlight that:

1. The kind of support people receive (or fail to receive) after a sexual assault has a huge impact on the degree to which they retain lingering trauma from their experience with sexual violence.

2. Boiling the experience of sexual violence down to the assault itself and ranking the “seriousness” of peoples’ trauma (including our own) based on assumptions about the nature of that assault supports rape culture.

Both are things that, as a survivor, I could probably use to remind myself every day. Delegitimizing my own experience is supportive of rape culture. My still-painful memories of my experiences would be completely different if the people I tried to talk to about them had responded differently. It’s not just about what “happened.” It’s about what happened next.

(via unquietpirate)

Jul 14
musingsfromthesoapbox:

Oh, gods, did I need to read this! It’s like a knot is loosening in my chest. I’ve been feeling really anxious about attracting stares lately - but it’s not about the starers at all of course, it’s about how I feel about the way I look.

musingsfromthesoapbox:

Oh, gods, did I need to read this! It’s like a knot is loosening in my chest. I’ve been feeling really anxious about attracting stares lately - but it’s not about the starers at all of course, it’s about how I feel about the way I look.

Jul 14
Jul 10

quote I can’t abandon
the person I used to be
so I carry her

— 365 Days of Haiku, Day #123 (via idreamof-pb)
Jul 08
annieelainey:

Don’t ever be afraid of your bikinis, girls!
Love your bodies, love yourselves, be confident and just have fun! Life is too short for self-loathing!
You deserve to be happy! So embrace your body! Be thankful for what you have! You are ALIVE!! Take a DEEP breath. You feel that air? The oxygen filling up your lungs. That’s beautiful.
You have all the opportunities in the world! You can do anything! I know that there is darkness in the world, there are cruel people, and shitty circumstances. But the world keeps spinning, it’s not gonna stop, every day is a new day, full of new opportunities and we should all take advantage. I know it can hurt, I know what it’s like to want to die because of how much it hurts… but you can turn it all around. You find joy in life no matter what your circumstances! It’s not over until it’s over, and there is so much LIFE out there for you to explore!
You are beautiful. Your life is beautiful. Take another breath, inhale positivity and light, let it attach itself to your lungs. Exhale, pain and anger, push it all out. You’re doing it, you’re surviving and you can love yourself and you can be happy.
NO MATTER WHAT INSECURITIES YOU HAVE! PROMISE ME YOU’RE GOING TO TRY AND LOVE YOUR BODY THIS SUMMER! PROMISE ME YOU’RE GOING WERQ WHAT YOU’VE GOT!!
http://annieelainey.tumblr.com
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

annieelainey:

Don’t ever be afraid of your bikinis, girls!

Love your bodies, love yourselves, be confident and just have fun! Life is too short for self-loathing!

You deserve to be happy! So embrace your body! Be thankful for what you have! You are ALIVE!! Take a DEEP breath. You feel that air? The oxygen filling up your lungs. That’s beautiful.

You have all the opportunities in the world! You can do anything! I know that there is darkness in the world, there are cruel people, and shitty circumstances. But the world keeps spinning, it’s not gonna stop, every day is a new day, full of new opportunities and we should all take advantage. I know it can hurt, I know what it’s like to want to die because of how much it hurts… but you can turn it all around. You find joy in life no matter what your circumstances! It’s not over until it’s over, and there is so much LIFE out there for you to explore!

You are beautiful. Your life is beautiful. Take another breath, inhale positivity and light, let it attach itself to your lungs. Exhale, pain and anger, push it all out. You’re doing it, you’re surviving and you can love yourself and you can be happy.

NO MATTER WHAT INSECURITIES YOU HAVE! PROMISE ME YOU’RE GOING TO TRY AND LOVE YOUR BODY THIS SUMMER! PROMISE ME YOU’RE GOING WERQ WHAT YOU’VE GOT!!

http://annieelainey.tumblr.com

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

Jul 07

nataliemeansnice:

i had the literal best day ever with great friends. we swam and ate and danced and scream laughed. i am unbelievably grateful to have incredible people in my life who love me as much as i love them.

spooky-femme is the lovely shorter-haired blonde babe. kriddenforshiz is the babe in the bikini top with her hair up with a bandana. sailbows is the babe with the longer hair and floral/striped bikini. aj is the babe in the white tank top. and, y’all know who i am ;)

Jul 05
fancybidet:

A few people wanted to help us help Miffy, and we felt weird about it but the truth is that we don’t know how we can pay for Miffy’s treatment without going into debt.


Our adorable, sassy, ball-obsessed, one-eyed dog is sick and is currently at the vets. We woke up this morning to find her vomiting, unable to pee, and drooling. After a trip to the vet we had her admitted to the animal hospital for supportive care and blood tests; and just then we received a call from the vet letting us know her blood tests were clear, however she still has a full bladder and is unable to pee. They think she might have a bladder stone, but need to anaesthetise her, insert a catheter, empty her bladder and take an x-ray.
The overnight stay initially was going to cost $800 and we sought help from Nick’s mum to pay for the deposit. Upon hearing from the vet, the next procedure would cost $600. We are unsure what the further costs will be. We just hope she is ok. We have access to an interest free loan period but it’s not ideal as it comes with  other high fees. A number of friends have mentioned they would like to support us through this awful time, and so we have set up this page. I will be sending personal thank yous out (and if there’s a space to leave your address and if you’d like a postcard, please let me know!)We are very thankful.

If you would like to help us, here is a Go Fund Me page. Shares and reblogs are so very appreciated.

fancybidet:

A few people wanted to help us help Miffy, and we felt weird about it but the truth is that we don’t know how we can pay for Miffy’s treatment without going into debt.

Our adorable, sassy, ball-obsessed, one-eyed dog is sick and is currently at the vets. We woke up this morning to find her vomiting, unable to pee, and drooling. After a trip to the vet we had her admitted to the animal hospital for supportive care and blood tests; and just then we received a call from the vet letting us know her blood tests were clear, however she still has a full bladder and is unable to pee. They think she might have a bladder stone, but need to anaesthetise her, insert a catheter, empty her bladder and take an x-ray.

The overnight stay initially was going to cost $800 and we sought help from Nick’s mum to pay for the deposit. Upon hearing from the vet, the next procedure would cost $600. We are unsure what the further costs will be. We just hope she is ok. We have access to an interest free loan period but it’s not ideal as it comes with  other high fees.

A number of friends have mentioned they would like to support us through this awful time, and so we have set up this page. I will be sending personal thank yous out (and if there’s a space to leave your address and if you’d like a postcard, please let me know!)

We are very thankful.

If you would like to help us, here is a Go Fund Me page. Shares and reblogs are so very appreciated.